Iron Sharpens Iron

“As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17

God has a desire for us to be refined in order to look more and more like Him every day. The concept brought forth in this verse says that when we are in relationship with others we will grow, learn and ultimately be refined. I think there is a deeper outcome of this verse but let’s start with the obvious meaning…

I cannot begin to express how much I have learned from Erica. She helps me be a better parent and a better husband. In other words, she sharpens me. I presume that I do the same for her.

How? I believe it is that both Erica and I are learners - we are in constant pursuit of new knowledge, insight and wisdom. We both read, research, discuss and problem-solve. The unique thing is that we do it in ways that are different from one another. Yes, we both read books, listen to podcasts and even read our Bibles. However, we read different books, listen to different podcasts and read our Bibles from different perspectives. Then we discuss, and in the process we are able to compare and contrast two different viewpoints. In other words, we sharpen one another.

Please don’t have some lofty image of us being full-time students sharing our knowledge with one another. Its far from that. However, we both have a desire to learn, grow, and be molded into the full potential that God had in mind when He designed us.

I value Erica’s insight and input. In fact, many of the decisions, both large and small, that I have to make for the ministry are filtered through Erica’s insight and wisdom. I actually think that it is an attribute of our entire leadership team. (We joke that if someting happened to our entire leadership team that our spouses could step right in and not miss a beat).

More than valuing Erica’s input though, I actually crave it. I wish I could say that it was because of the verse at the beginning, but I do believe its inherent that we help to refine one another. I crave a perspective different from my own, I desire input on things I haven’t fully thought through, and most of all, I want to know Erica more.

I want to know more about Erica. I want to know about how she is wired, how she thinks and what her deep opinions are about seemingly meaningless topics. Its not the information I want, its the intimate knowledge of her. Yes, we have been married for four years but I want to continue to grow with her. If she is growing and I am growing then we both have a lot to learn about one another - it is constant.

So, we surround ourselves with people smarter than ourselves, more read than ourselves, and with different perspectives than our own. Do we do this because it makes us better? Sure! But it also gives us insight into them that we may have never had before. We grow closer to one another in the process of “sharpening” each other. Yes, it may be painful and uncomfortable at times but its God’s design for us in relationship with one another.

Because I am being sharpened, our relationship is deepening. Always. I hope it doesn’t stop.

Seek sharpening from someone else. And, may I suggest that you start with the person closest to you??

“As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17

Shawn