What exactly does our simple life look like? It looks like days that are free from stress because there is enough time to get everything done. By "everything" I mean everything that needs to get done. I always have a long list of things I want to do like read a novel or exercise or finally teach myself how to french braid but I have learned how to draw a clear line between the things I want to do and the things I need to do. By focusing my attention on what I need to do, I am able to budget my energy and make the most of my time.
Our simple life also means that the majority of things we need to do don't necessarily need to happen immediately. Things like church, swimming lessons, meal times, nap time and bedtime happen on a pretty regular schedule but everything else we choose to be flexible about. Yesterday morning it was raining so Nicole and I opened up all of the blinds and watched the rain come pouring down while we did chores together. We talked about the rain and listened for the thunder as we gathered laundry and recycled junk mail. Nicole ate a snack and colored in her notebook while I worked in the kitchen. We had a fantastic morning and one of main the reasons that it was so enjoyable was because none of the chores we did needed to happen right then. I could have easily stopped any tasks we had begun in favor of visiting with a neighbor, taking a phone call or addressing something else all together. I keep this flexible margin in our lives so that we can enjoy one another, invest in those around us and take responsibility for the things we have.
I've learned that I am the best version of myself when I intentionally choose to not overcommit to things. My "unscheduled" time is filled with board books, boundary setting, toddler songs and tiny giggles. I love it when our morning story turns into book after book after book simply because we don't have anywhere we need to be. So many of my richest parenting moments have happened when Nicole enthusiastically picks out a book and then willingly plants herself in the center of my lap to read it. It's a time of learning and connection, relationship and rest. I love it when our quick walk around the neighborhood turns into a hunt for the garbage truck because Nicole wants to see it. We collect sticks and leaves, talk about the dogs barking in their backyards and gaze at the airplanes flying overhead. A simple activity grows into something meaningful because their was time to let it happen. I love having margin in my day to set a boundary and stick to it because there is nothing more pressing on my time than teaching Nicole how to obey.
Even with an uncomplicated schedule. I don't always have time to do things on my "want" list, but I've learned to be okay with that. I believe that I am a better mom and wife by keeping our schedule free of too many commitments. I also believe that Nicole is a better toddler because our lives are simple. She has time to play on her own and use her imagination. Recently, I was noticing that as Nicole tries to do things with greater independence, she is also experiencing a greater amounts of frustration. While on the surface, frustration might seem negative, I consider it one of the gifts of our uncomplicated life. Hear me out for a minute. If Nicole is sitting in front of her shoe bin and is attempting to try on her shoes but gets frustrated when she can't get them on by herself, I have the time in my day to coach her through her frustration or simply let her figure it out on her own. I don't need to rush her, because I'm not rushing either. There is time for Nicole's character to develop and for both of us to learn how to adjust to the many changes that accompany her growth.
On the outside, our simple life looks very ordinary and at times it can even appear boring. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. Having pockets of unscheduled time in my day gives me freedom to joyfully carry out my responsibilities and enjoy the task at hand. What kind of schedule helps you be your best self?
Love,
Erica
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