My Weekend Away

Hello! I hope all is well and you are enjoying some extra sunshine and warmer temperatures as spring slowly makes its way here.  We are soaking up all of the sunshine we can whenever we have a break in the rain, which has created lots of opportunities for hours and hours of outdoor adventures and a fair share of mud. 

Mud and weather aside, I have also been soaking up uninterpreted time with my kids after sneaking away for the women's retreat with my church a week and a half ago.   While I have considered going on this annual retreat every year since we moved to Texas, the age of my kids and the high amount of care they required from me in years past has kept me home. 

This year both kids are more independent, self-sufficient and capable of enjoying life outside of our normal routine so I finally considered it.  I was on the fence for weeks for a whole plethora of reasons.  In the end, I felt like God wanted me to go so I swept all of my hesitations aside and started getting ready. 

A friend of mine picked me up around noon on Friday and we didn't pull back into the driveway until about 3pm on Sunday afternoon.   It's the longest I've ever been away from my kids and I'm happy to report that we all did fine.  I thought about them constantly, but in the end I got to do something very out of the ordinary for me and Shawn and the kids were able to make some special memories together while I was away. 

Since it was a retreat put on by our church, they brought in a Christian speaker named Bonnie Floyd and we spent a lot of our time "in session" listening to her speak about the power of forgiveness and the importance of guarding our minds.  I learned far more than I expected to and was able to jump back into life at home armed with new spiritual insights.

A picture I took while on an early morning walk at the retreat

I left spiritually refreshed, which was wonderful, but the greatest benefit of the retreat was the opportunity for both Shawn and I to understand each others roles a little bit better.  We have had a lot of experience navigating marriage and family life while he travels for work, but we haven't ever navigated life with him at home and me away.  Here are my big take aways from the weekend. 

1. Attitude matters.  Shawn willingly and graciously sent me on the retreat.  He expected to be tired, but he happily stepped into his role of stay-at-home dad.  He made every effort to honor the routines I had set up and he put a lot of thought into how to pack the weekend full of fun for the kids.  He was willing and kind and his attitude towards me and his responsibilities helped me leave with peace of mind. 

2. It's not always easier to be the one away.  I was away at an event that kept my time pretty occupied, which meant that I didn't have very many windows of time to check in at home.  I thought that I was going to have a lot of flexibility in when and how I connected at home because I was free from all of my regular responsibilities.  As it turns out, it was harder for me to find windows of time to connect with Shawn while I was away than it is for me to connect with him while I'm home.  We texted and sent Marco Polo videos but we didn't have very many chances to be on the phone at the same time.

When Shawn travels for work, his days are usually very full and he doesn't typically have many windows of time to check in with us either.  I appreciated being able to navigate his side of that story and to gain some empathy and insight for how challenging it can be to find time (and a quiet space!) to call home.  On Shawns busiest days, I sometimes wonder if he is thinking about me and the kids or if he's too wrapped up in work to remember us.  On the screen it looks like the most ridiculous thought I have ever let take residence in my mind, and yet I have had it more times than I care to count.

I spent an entire weekend thinking about my family despite all of my time being planned or accounted for.  I now know that Shawn thinks about us constantly, no matter if he replies to a text message immediately or if takes him several hours to touch base.  We are both incredibly intentional about connecting with one another throughout the day no matter what we have going on, but I learned firsthand why some days it's easier to do that than others. 

3. Shawn navigates more than I realize when he travels.  In between sessions, we usually had small pockets of free time.  I was struck by how challenging it is to be present for the people who were in front of me while also being actively engaged with my family back home.  I have new respect for the way Shawn navigates this while he travels and from now on I will appreciate the things he's intentionally missing in order to connect with me. 

Reading my Bible outside before session started Saturday morning

All in all this was a great learning experience for our entire family.  Jonah's eyes still light up when he is reminded of things that he did or saw while Shawn manned the ship that weekend.    I am grateful for the sweet moments that the kids and Shawn shared as well as all of the special adventures they went on together.  I am grateful that I had a chance to grow in empathy and understanding for what it is like to be the one away from home, but most of all, I'm so glad that home is a place where all of us belong. 

I hope you are well!
Love,
Erica