Forgiveness

A few weeks ago a good friend of mine asked if Nicole could tag along on a family outing they were taking.  I knew it was an outing Nicole would enjoy but it weighed heavily on me that it would be the first outing I sent my 3 year old on without me, Shawn or my parents.  She's smart, capable and responsible but I try my best not to lose sight of the fact that she's still only three.  After talking it over with Shawn, we agreed to let her go and our vibrant social butterfly was thrilled at the news.  I prepped her for the outing the best way I knew how and took a deep breath before dropping her off with my friend and her family.

Nicole was fully present and ready for the adventure the moment we left our doorstep and I quickly realized that my opportunity for a proper goodbye was lost in the excitement of what was to come.  I left feeling unsure of what I had agreed to but grateful that she was in the care of such a fantastic family for the afternoon.

I received a few text updates as the day progressed and breathed many sighs of relief when all seemed to be going well.  The afternoon outing turned into a spontaneous dinner out, which I knew would make the trip all the more memorable for Nicole.  When I heard my friends van pull up way past Nicole's bedtime, I eagerly ran outside to receive my girl and hear all about her big adventure.

As I stepped outside I was instantly greeted by the unmistakable sound of Nicole's tears.  She had taken her shoes off on the ride home, despite the instruction not to, and she didn't want to walk on the cold ground.  I scooped her up to eliminate the problem and then was shocked to hear a less than glowing report about her behavior at the restaurant and on the ride home.  Her and her little friend had chosen to stop listening to the numerous adults present and instead create some of their own fun.  To an onlooker at the restaurant, the kids would have appeared rowdy and perhaps a little annoying but otherwise cute and pleasant, so thankfully the crimes were relatively small in the grand scheme of things.

The issue was the blatant disregard for redirection.  Nicole and her friend made numerous choices to ignore the kind and gracious directions of the adults in charge of them and it wasn't ok.  My friend said, "I've never experienced her like this before and I really didn't know what to do." I had my suspicions that the late bedtime was a contributing factor but I was still disappointed in how the day ended.

It wasn't until the next morning that Nicole was ready to talk about what happened.  She told me that she hadn't listened and she was sorry.  She asked if she could tell my friend that she was sorry and I brought her right over to do so.  I was humbled by Nicole's soft heart and willingness to seek restitution and all was quickly forgiven.

As it turns out, this event was deeply impactful for Nicole and after a couple of weeks of hearing her talk about "not listening" on her big adventure it was clear to me that while her heart was repentant, she didn't grasp the freedom and restitution that comes from forgiveness.

It is God's kindness and leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4) which means that when we are feeling shameful about something in our lives that has already been forgiven, we are not walking in the freedom Christ intends for us.

I pulled Nicole onto my lap, grabbed my Bible and turned to 1 John 1:9.  

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  

I explained that she had confessed her sins and that means that God forgave her and washed them off of her.  We then looked up Psalm 103:12 which says,   

"as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."  

I told her that God doesn't just forgive us and clean us, He also removes our sin from us.  I shared that she didn't have to keep feeling bad about what had happened on her outing.  It was a good lesson about the importance of listening to the adults in charge of her, but that God didn't want her to continue to feel guilty about it.  Living like you have been forgiven by an Almighty God leaves no room for guilt or shame.  

As I made my feeble attempt to explain the depths of God's forgiveness to Nicole, I was struck by how radical and incomprehensible it really is.  God's forgiveness is so much better than the forgiveness that we, as humans, can offer one another.  His forgiveness is perfect and leaves no part of the offense intact.  He isn't keeping a tally or saving our transgressions to bring up down the road.  He forgave them once and for all on the cross and continues to offer us that same comprehensive forgiveness for every single mistake we confess.  This kind of forgiveness can only be found in God and I am so thankful that I get to point my three year old towards it when her tender heart needs to experience it.  

I hope all is well with you! 

Love, 

Erica