Jonah turned 5 months old on Sunday and as my mind raced through the last 5 months with him at home, I couldn't help but feel deeply humbled by how present God has been through it all. Even though there have been many small, sacred moments during Jonah's little life, there are two scenarios that happened early on that have impacted me the most.
The first instance is a story you're already familiar with. My parents had booked tickets to come to Texas on my due date because I had confidently told them that their grandson would for sure have arrived by then. I was wrong and my heart ached with shame and regret every time I thought about them sacrificially making the long trip here without a grandson to meet.
In my heartache and confusion, I couldn't see that God was present and working. He knew that they were the perfect people to stay with Nicole during Jonah's arrival. I labored in peace because I knew that Nicole was safe, loved and having fun. She needed her grandparents that day, but I really did too. I had a few trusted friends standing by to swoop in care for my girl while I was at the hospital but I will always be thankful that I didn't need to tag them in. The distance between Wisconsin and Texas is too great for us to ever have planned on my parents taking Nicole while I was at the hospital, which is why this is such a striking example of God's lovingkindness. They booked their tickets intending to spend a couple of days holed up at home with Shawn, Nicole and newborn Jonah and instead God used the timing of their trip to meet needs that I had been desperately trying to coordinate for weeks. This story has a happy ending for Jonah too, because he got to meet his grandparents for the very first time on the day of his birth. Only God, in His omnipotence, could have orchestrated all of those events so perfectly.
The second instance began at Jonah's homecoming. We weren't discharged from the hospital until after 10pm on a Tuesday night so by the time we got home, Nicole was sound asleep. She woke up the next morning yelling from her crib, "Mommy! Jonah! Are you home?!" I was so excited to scoop her out of bed and affirm that Jonah and I were home to stay. This sweet reunion quickly shed light on Nicole's deep need to be close to me. Her two-and-a-half year old self was having a much harder time than any of us expected emotionally adjusting to our new family configuration. The transition was too big to navigate on her own and as a result she needed to be so close to me that I thought I was going to suffocate.
I was frantically trying to get to know the needs and preferences of the newborn baby in my arms while also restoring the sense of security, belonging and acceptance in my toddler. The task was nearly impossible when they were both awake, but God provided a way. Jonah slept for lengthy stretches during the day which gave me the time and attention I needed to invest in Nicole. While Nicole was asleep at night, I spent many long and intimate hours getting to know Jonah. It was an intense and tiring couple of weeks, but God faithfully provided a way for me to meet everyones needs.
I am overwhelmingly grateful to be loved by a God who cares about the tiny details of my life. Because of who God is, I am able to face each day with a sense of peace and purpose that I wouldn't otherwise have.
Psalm 75:1 - We praise you, God,
we praise you, for your Name is near;
people tell of your wonderful deeds.
Love,
Erica
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