Strong & Kind

Shortly after we moved to Texas, the wife of one of Shawn's co-workers was telling me that she was nervous that the native Texans she encountered weren't going to think her kids were polite since they were raised in the midwest and therefore weren't exposed to southern manners. I instantly resonated with her concern because as a southern transplant, I had no idea how to teach Nicole to do things I had never done.  "Yes ma'am", "no sir", "yes, please" and "no thank you" seem to be phrases that are woven through the very heart of the south.  I have experienced firsthand how well these phrases are received and I started noticing that beyond being "good manners" they also seem to be a mark of social awareness, respect, courtesy and goodwill.  I'm still doing my best to learn all of the nuances of southern manners, but thankfully, I've found some great resources along the way.

The first resource that I added to our home library was, Everyday Graces: A Child's Book of Good Manners by Karen Santorum.   This incredible book is an anthology of sorts and is written to teach manners and character traits through stories, many of which are printed in the book itself.   Each chapter focuses on a different character trait and is full of stories, poems and book recommendations to teach that specific character trait through literacy.   I love the idea of reading aloud with that kind of purpose in mind and I have every intention of creating a cozy story hour in our household as soon as Nicole is old enough to listen to chapter books.

The second resource I stumbled upon was the book Strong & Kind.  Like so many other good things in my life, I first heard about this book while listening to Focus on the Family.   The author is Korie Robertson of Duck Dynasty and even though I've never watched her show, she said a couple of things during the broadcast that caught my attention.  The first thing she said was that she never thought she'd write a parenting book but many fans of the show had written in to ask how she had raised children with such good manners.  The next thing that caught my attention was when she explained why she had titled her book "Strong & Kind".  Korie had been at a Bible study while her kids were young and one of the leaders had challenged the women to name the values they wanted to instill in their children.   For Korie, she wanted to raise kids who were strong and kind.   The broadcast peaked my interest and I quickly got a copy of her audiobook.  It was filled with really practical tips on how to set boundaries and instill good, appropriate and Godly character traits in your children.  Even though the book was filled with references to their TV show, I still think it was one of the most practical books on parenting and character development I have read thus far.

The overall message of Strong & Kind is to decide what values you want to instill in your children.  By naming these values, you create a filter through which you can make decisions as well as lay the foundation that you are going to continue building on for years to come.  The book has a very long list of possible character traits that you could pick from, but after praying about it, I knew in an instant what I want our family values to be.

I want to raise children who love God and love others.  

I pray every single day that Nicole will grow up to know God personally.  The Bible says that He knit her together while she was in my womb and the she is fearfully, and wonderfully made.  I love Nicole with my whole heart but I am often humbled by the reality that God loves Nicole infinitely more than I ever could.  I want Nicole to grow up to know God because I want her to be in relationship with the One who knows her completely and loves her perfectly.  

I also pray that Nicole will always choose to love the people around her.  I believe that Nicole's beauty, kindness and generosity are a direct reflection of God's character.  Nicole is able to call people by name, learn about them and remember things that are unique to them.  In the same way, God calls us by name, he knows everything about us and He celebrates what is unique to us.  My tiny child acts as an ambassador of the deep and inviting love God has for us every time she chooses to extend love to others.  I value loving others because God values it.  It is my hope that I will always foster the importance of loving others in my children both in word and in deed.  There are tangible ways to care for others all around us, but when my own selfishness or pride gets in the way, I know that I can look to God to be the perfect example for what it means to love others.

Choosing the values that we want to instill in our children didn't necessarily move me any closer to the goal of raising children with southern manners.  However, I am confident that God will continue to equip me to instill His values in our children.  And, being intentional about practicing our manners can't hurt either :).

What are the values that you want to be the hallmark of your household?

Love,
Erica