I don't need a horse painted purple to know that my kids love me unconditionally. They extend me copious amounts of grace, accept me in every state of being and love me for exactly who I am.
As I reflect on what it means to me to be a mom, I can easily say that being a mom is the most complex and demanding job I have ever had, but I have been privileged to walk confidently into the role because I was raised by a fantastic mom.
When I think back to my childhood, I recall warmth, acceptance and boundaries. I love my parents with a depth and tenderness that blesses me daily, but I know my love for them started with their love for me. I have two phenomenal parents, but with Mothers Day in mind, I wanted to share a few lessons that I learned about mothering from my mom.
1. Motherhood is sanctifying. My mom speaks often about how God used motherhood to free her from sin and make her more like Jesus. She talked about this phenomenon openly with me as I grew up, and while I remember the conversation, I don't remember her sin. Instead, I remember the way she nestled me into her lap while I struggle to learn how to read. I remember the way she made up games and rhymes to help me learn my Bible verses for AWANA. I remember her crying over the way my siblings and I would fight with each other, but I don't remember her sin.
I know that sanctification is one of the truest aspects of motherhood because I'm currently living it. I sin all the time, but God graciously and consistently convicts me of my missteps. I repent before God for being frustrated when I should have been compassionate or for speaking harshly when I should have been kind. And then I apologize to my kids, who immediately extend me forgiveness. Motherhood is definitely sanctifying.
2. Motherhood is sacrificial. I have numerous clear memories of my mom spending the entire day cooking for us. Even when we were old enough to help with kitchen chores, she was still the one who was preparing food well past the time everyone else had left the kitchen for the day. She was also the one who spent the entirety of her Saturday morning making massive stacks of buttermilk pancakes just so we had something yummy to start the weekend with. But, her sacrifices went far beyond the food she spent hours upon hours preparing for us. She had four young kids, each navigating their own rhythms of sleep disruptions, and I was chief among them. I'd get out of bed because I was having a hard time falling asleep or because I had woken from a bad dream and she quietly met me at her door in the middle of the night and gently tucked me back into bed no matter the hour.
Now, when I spend hours in the kitchen making food for my family or am roused out of bed by a crying child, I think about my mom. I think about all of the time we were able to spend at the kitchen table because she didn't stop cooking and I think about how safe and loved I felt when she received me in the night. Sacrifice is hard, but it's worth it.
3. Motherhood requires wisdom. One of my favorite and most beautiful mental pictures of my mom is from walking downstairs in the morning and finding her sitting on our love seat with her Bible open on her lap and her eyes closed in prayer. She would open her eyes, close her Bible and, after putting it back on the shelf, open her arms as an invitation for the first hug of the day. Even then, I knew I was interrupting something sacred but I didn't know that the magnitude of what that time meant for her and for me. Now, as I wake up before my children, open my Bible across my lap and close my eyes in prayer I think about my moms spiritual legacy and how it's still echoing far and wide. My mom trusted God to give her the strength and the wisdom to raise her children according to His will and in His way. It was her faith in God and her prayerful parenting that allowed her to impart faith, create boundaries, discipline us when necessary and follow through with consequences.
Children are dynamic, unique and full of surprises. On my own merit, I am not wise enough to navigate all of the intricacies of parenting, and neither was my mom. But, my mom regularly spent time asking God for the wisdom she needed to keep going and now I do the same.
The greatest lesson of all is that love binds us with our children and covers our mistakes. I learned a lot of things from my mom about parenting, but the thread that weaves every lesson together is love. My mom was (and still is) incredibly loving. She loved me at my best and at my worst with the kind of love that is so comprehensive it feels tangible. I hope someday my kids will say that same about me.
Mom, I love you.
Happy Mothers Day!
Love,
Erica
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