Adapting

A few weeks after Nicole was born,  I bundled her up and brought her to the school I had been teaching at before her arrival.  I was thrilled to be able to introduce her to the people I had worked shoulder to shoulder with through my entire relationship with Shawn.  They had celebrated with me every step of the way and I knew that bringing Nicole to school would feel a little bit like bringing her home.  It was fun to pass her around and chat about how things had been going.  Most of my conversations that day were celebratory and lighthearted but one conversation in particular has stayed with me ever since.    After giggling together about how tiny Nicole was, one of my co-workers turned to me and said, "you know that as soon as you have it all figured out, everything will change again." As all the parents around her nodded in agreement she went on to give me countless examples from her own child-rearing journey of the truth of this principle and all I could do was shake my head in disbelief.

Nicole and Mommy during a MN winter in 2016

Those words bounced through my head and heart, stirring up every frayed emotion precariously occupying space in my sleep deprived body.  I was deeply in love with my baby and with motherhood but I was desperately grasping for evidence that it would get easier someday.  I was temporarily crushed under the weight of feeling like I would never figure "it" out and I felt foolish for striving for order and predictability if it was all going to change anyway.

I now know that while things with little kids do change rapidly, there are very few scenarios when "everything" changes at once and the foundation that was laid before the change is often a catalyst to that change being healthy and relevant.   I regularly practice my ability to adapt to the new needs and circumstances that emerge in our household.  The frequency of change and the need to adapt can be very tiring, but it's also a gift.  I remind myself often that I get to help my kids navigate countless changes in their lives and in the process I get to model what it looks like to be patient, adaptable and teachable.  Not only do I get to celebrate milestones, I get to be part of them. 

"Winter" in Texas :) 

Having two small children underfoot has exponentially multiplied my need to adapt our schedule, my approach, the activities we participate in and even the friends we spend time with.  In the middle of a hard day, it's easy to feel weighed down by the undercurrent of change always at play but the bigger perspective speaks to the larger purpose at hand.  Our kids are growing, and in the process I am too. 

Love,
Erica